My Life Is Awesome

I rear-ended a car this morning and slowly the other driver got out of his car…. He was a dwarf. He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ”I AM NOT HAPPY!!!” So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?” MLIA. - BRI

The hottest girl in LA thinks im cute and funny and asked me if i was DTF. MLIA

This morning I woke up and had an Egg White and Lobster Omelette. MLIA